Parent Coaching

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I think I have been studying parenting for about 10 years. I was pregnant with my first and read ALL of the books. I took all of the courses I could get my hands on... I drove Andrew nuts with new things to try. 

There was a serious drive to be the perfect parent. To do it differently than my parents. (I know my parents did the best they could with the information and upbringings they had, I honor their journeys.) I think I had something to prove... Still do, if I am being honest... so fast forward 9 years, I have 3 kids (3 under 3 years apart), we moved to a new country and discovered a beautiful garden of neurodiversity that really makes my daily life as a mother, quite challenging. We were a year and a half into our move, quite unsettled (or at least I was), the kids were melting down frequently. I was without my support network that we had created in Colorado. I was having a nervous breakdown and I had no idea what was happening. Panic attacks, deep dark thoughts and illness. 

There was a day last December that our littlest was highly dysregulated. He can be quite physical when he is 'offline.' He had been at it for a few days, I couldn't get him to his green zone. He was saying nasty things and physically acting out. I was trying to remain calm and regulated however his dysregulation was spilling over to me and the other kiddos. I won't go into specifics... it was rough. I couldn't take the abuse any longer. In a highly reactive state, I smacked my 6 year old right across the face. Ugh. Immediately the SHAME, the GUILT, the HORROR all took over. All of the studying I had done had told me this is the very thing NOT to do. FUCK. Forever scarred both my little love and myself. I went into a deep spiral. I felt like  a terrible parent. 

Fortunately, I am lucky to have a few safe spaces to share my stories, beautiful non judgemental friends who hold space for me. I shared my story. They held me. They saw me. They understood me. One of my soul sisters, gave me a book. 'The Parenting (R)Evolution' by Kiva Schuler. This book, I soaked up in hours. It changed the game for me. 

It met me where I was at, not calling me bad for being in that reactive space but offering a gift of understanding... Isn't that one of our HIGHEST needs as humans after all? So, naturally being my Neurodivergent self, I wanted more... I DOVE in headfirst into the coaching training. I wanted to soak up the teachings and really integrate it into my life. I WANTED CHANGE. I really had no interest in being a coach at the beginning. I just wanted to help my family. 

I started in February of last year. The next 7 months would really shift everything I had known and become as a mother. The first 12 weeks I went through the program. Things really started to make sense, things shifted. I started to understand myself and make sense of my childhood, in a way that has really brought more connection, more understanding and more safety into my parenting. I learned about attachment science, brain development, NERVOUS SYSTEM science (this was the game changer for us), and really found a meaningful relationship with myself as Mother and the inner child that still lives within. I got clear on my values as a human and really offered my childhood a bit of loving awareness so it could start to make sense. I found something that resembles peace among the chaos. I found TOOLS, I am able to access more play and still mess up... and it doesn't make me a bad parent. Parenting is messy. It's what we do with the mess that makes a difference! Do we pretend like there is no mess? Do we hide the mess? Do we put the pressure on our kids to make it perfect? Or do we embrace the mess and find JOY, CONTENTMENT or PEACE in it? I can now embrace it with more love, understanding and commitment to trying every day... 

I found it so inspiring that there was an entire international community of moms trying to do things a little differently. Trying to understand our kids a little more, understand ourselves a little more... Changing the world, one parent-kid relationship at a time. This was where I found inspiration to offer coaching to others. To hold space for them to find their ripples, so their ripples can flow outward to create more connected families, more understanding, more unconditional love and commitment to trying every day...

Parenting is tough, there is so much information out there. It can be hard to know where to begin. I feel like we need to walk this parenting journey with others who are in the trenches. Talking about the hard stuff in a BRAVE space. Feeling held and seen and understood so we can heal, learn and grow. We learn in order to be able to offer that magic to our children. 

As a certified parenting coach, I offer JAI's 12 week Transformational Parenting Program, along with weekly meetings with me to digest and process the information. It really is TRANSFORMATIONAL. It is for those who feel really like they parent on Auto Pilot most of the time and maybe it doesn't feel exactly right. It is for those who maybe are being called to heal generational patterns that show up in their parenting. It is for those who want to have more authentic connection with themselves, their kids and others. It is for those who feel lost and need support and tools. Maybe you feel like you have a good grasp on parenting, there is still opportunities for deeper understanding, expansion and growth. Where ever you are in your parenting journey, this program has nuggets of beautiful, life shifting gold to be discovered. 

I am here to support you, to see you, to hold space for healing. I am a neurodivergent mama to 3 neurodivergent kiddos. I know chaos. I know feeling like you don't know which way to go. 

As for my parenting... it's still messy. I've learned how to regulate myself and the importance of that act. I am learning to be kind and gentle to myself, because I cannot offer that to my kids without me offering it to myself. I am learning what it means to be in secure attachment with myself and my kids (and every other relationship in my life for that matter). I am learning emotional and body intelligence. I am learning and practicing acceptance. I am teaching my kids these things by modeling.  More often now, I can respond in a more regulated way, rather than reacting from dysregulation. It's not always pretty, of course. Sometimes...it's hard, I mess up and have to repair. I am still on the path of learning AND this program gave me such a solid foundation from which to explore. I feel more confident in my role as a parent. We have all found more regulation. My kids say I yell less too. Which is a welcome result. 

If you are interested in learning more about the program, reach out to schedule a discovery call with me. No obligation, just a conversation.